Lead Me, Guide Me...

This post is written by Kitara. She demonstrates so perfectly trusting the Lord.

When I graduated from BYU-Idaho a year ago, I wasn't quite sure what to do next. I had planned my
life up until that point and it was scary preparing for a life where the future was unknown. I returned home to Ohio for the summer to try to figure out what my next step would be. Should I try to find a job? Go back to grad school? Where should I live? I had so many questions and felt so confused. I prayed every night to get answers to these questions and for a while, I didn't feel like I was receiving any. At the same time, I didn't feel quite comfortable living at home. The place that had always felt so warm and inviting now made me feel restless and lonely. I felt like I didn't quite “belong” in Ohio anymore. Looking back, I know that that was the first prompting I received that guided me to where I am today.

My constant questioning had me turning to the scriptures and praying more frequently. One Sunday, I decided to fast about moving to Utah. A friend of mine had just recently moved to Provo and he told me to consider moving as well. I had never felt super comfortable in Provo…it was just so busy and slightly overwhelming to a girl who grew up in a small town but I fasted and prayed and started to feel really good and excited about moving to Utah. I started researching apartments and school options in that area. They had a prerequisite program at BYU for speech pathology so I decided to apply. I found another friend that asked me to move in with her and things were starting to fall into place. That’s when things started to get a little tricky… When the contract for the apartment came in the mail, I couldn't get myself to sign the piece of paper. I would hold the piece of paper and the pen and then get a sudden waive of anxiety and eventually decide to “sign it tomorrow”. All I had to do was sign the paper! Why was this so hard? Then a couple weeks later I received a rejection letter to the program at BYU. I was so confused. I had felt SO good about moving to Utah…why was everything falling apart?

Luckily I have a wise mother who mentioned that maybe I should try looking at other schools in Utah. I had originally wanted to go to Utah State for Graduate school, but I didn't have the prerequisites for the program, so I thought that was out of the question. My mother’s words kept repeating in my head so I thought I would just try to look and see. I couldn't believe it when I found out they had a prerequisite program…and it was online! I applied and was accepted the VERY next day. I contemplated living at home and finding a full time job while taking classes online. I was still getting that feeling that I didn't quite belong in Ohio and as the days went on, it started to intensify.

One day I was just sitting in my room and it hit me, I needed to move to Logan. I had never been to Logan in my life but I just knew that I was supposed to move there. It was the first time in my life that I felt like I was taking a step in the dark, fully relying on the Lord to guide me. Two weeks later I packed up my car and drove across the country not knowing where I was going to live or whether or not I would be able to find a job. Normally, making a decision like that would scare me to death. I am the type of girl who likes to have a plan. But I felt an overwhelming sense of peace that I was doing the right thing, even if I didn’t know how it would end up. The day I showed up to Logan, I found an amazing place to live, I found a job three weeks later and I have met and made friends with some amazing people.

Sometimes I still wonder, why Logan? Why am I here? And I’m still constantly wondering what the future might hold. But I am now more confident that the Lord hears my prayers and that he will direct me. And not only for my benefit, but also to be a benefit to others.

About a month ago I felt like I needed to get a second job. I started applying and interviewing at various places. One day, after an interview at the Kutting Edge, I went to meet up with an old friend from BYU-Idaho. She just moved back to Logan , was engaged, and was in a desperate search for a job. I felt like mentioning that the Kutting Edge was hiring and I told her to take her resume to the business. A week ago, I decided that I would probably be too busy this summer for a second job and that if they called me to offer me the job I would probably turn them down. This morning I found out that my friend got the job. I was so happy for her! And I was happy that I could be an instrument in the Lords hand to help others lives.

It reminds me of the Primary song “I am a child of God” when it says “ Lead me. Guide me. Walk beside me. Help me find the way. Teach me all that I must do to live with Him someday.”I know now that Heavenly Father is aware of us. He knows our fears and concerns. He loves us. He watches over us. He strengthens us and if we allow him, he will guide us.

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